Wednesday, July 11, 2007

My Family and other Stress Factors

Deleted post.


Anonymous said...

As if you didn't have enough stress in your life... which uppity god (it would have to be a god, not a goddess) decided "Jane is coping a tad too well, lets inspire a dotty relative to make her life hell"

Her GP is obliged to offer a yearly check-up to anyone over 75 (which I suppose she has been refusing) - but also, I'd seriously consider inventing an 'incident'. She left the cooker on? She went wandering in the middle of the night? Once the doctor does some basic mental tests, it would be clear that she needs help. You could also call social services - if her house is that bad, it may be grounds enough to visit her for health and well-being concerns.


Jane Holland said...

Thanks so much for supporting me on this, Angela. As I wrote it, I envisaged hordes of Alzheimer experts descending on my blog and castigating me for not being kinder to this poor tortured soul. There's so much PC material about on illnesses like this, and about mental problems stemming from drug abuse or alcoholism, and how we need to support the sufferers, but it always seems to me that the people who are on the sharp receiving end of these 'mental issues' - i.e. friends and family - are simply forgotten.

As for the doctor and social services ideas, yes, abolsutely. We've had a secret family conference on this matter in the past year, and tried various strategies, but she is resisting all our efforts. We even wrote a joint letter to her GP but he said he couldn't move on the situation without her consent.

As for calling social services ... well, I can imagine the fall-out from that. She's very talented at emotional blackmail - the last mental skill to be lost, perhaps! And her eldest son is reluctant to upset her by interfering any further than he already has, by not helping her get another car.

My main worry at the moment is more about finances, to be honest. She keeps telling us triumphantly that 'bank people' have rung her, offering to buy her house so she can buy a new car with the proceeds! But when I ask who these 'bank people' are, she changes the subject or just acts mysterious: 'Well, I can't tell you that, but it's in the pipe-line. You wait and see.'

Fantasy or reality? Disaster or misunderstanding? Who can tell? Certainly not her anymore, I fear.

My husband came home tonight and had stern words with her on the phone. That should - hopefully - bring this little episode of mania to an end.

But it will start all over again next week when we move and we have to give her the NEW ADDRESS! Then she'll probably ring every few days to check she's got the postcode right or because she's forgotten if we've moved yet or ...


Bo said...

Guillotine her.

Jane Holland said...

Dearest Bo, what a lovely thought. Not sure the authorities would consider it an acceptable reaction, but I'll keep that in reserve for some desperate moment. A giant meteor hurtling to earth, perhaps, and euthanasia suddenly a viable option for those too infirm to dispatch themselves.

How was Druid Camp?

Bo said...

What a good idea! Druid Camp...was....well. See AF. As Victoria Wood's immortal 'Kitty' says: 'He said to me, 'Kitty, do you like *fun*?' 'I said, 'No, I don't! I hate enough of that in 1958 when I was trapped in a lift with a hulahoop salesman.'