I've just emerged from a bloody and unpleasant cat-fight on another blog of mine, where I dared to criticise a blogring owner for an action she took, who then posted an entry on her own blog about it and claimed to have left some sweet little comment apologising for and explaining her action on my blog, adding that I would probably not publish it though.
This supposed comment never appeared on my list of comments to be moderated, so I can only assume that she did not post it to my blog as she claimed.
Naturally enough, I had to respond to her accusation of censorship, and so suffered a gang of outraged blogring supporters trolling along to the rescue of this 'gentle and harmless' soul, and leaving extremely inflammatory and unpublishable comments on my site.
Should I be upset by this exchange? Or should I be enlivened? The former is probably more accurate than the latter, which is a shame. There was a distinctly 'hysterical' edge to the fight which I disliked, i.e. the remarks made to me were nearly all highly personal in tone and most did not even pretend to address the political ramifications of the blogring owner's action - which I'd sought to question in my original post. It was purely a 'you hurt my friend, now I'm going to hurt you' situation.
Their response bewildered me, though perhaps it shouldn't have done, as I know my own tone in blog posts is often abrasive, to say the least. But I did have a valid point, which nobody appeared interested in. I kept trying to steer them back to the reason I'd become annoyed in the first place, but no one was listening. By then, it had become a territory thing, a gang thing. By severing my affiliation with the blogring, I'd chosen to break from the gang and was therefore fair game for the nastier elements in it.
Meanwhile, the blogring owner herself carefully refrained from getting involved any further. She'd let them off the leash, then stepped back into the shadows, like the 'gentle and harmless' soul she is. No longer a simple disagreement between two people then, but an undignified online spat between one individual and someone else's gang of friends.
The poetry scene can be like that at times, I know. But at least most of us can spell the obscenities we're using.
4 comments:
Don't let it get you down jane.
whilst not being in the know on the latest ambush, i would like to take this opportunity to apologise myself for my less than positive language about you last week, which was out of order and not true. I'm sorry about my little tantrum in the pram, and lets forget it. It was totally my fault and i'm not saying this with a view to wheedling back in, i would only get carried away and very windy.
Indeed i harnessed the negative energy and turned it round, and it lead me to a further nudge up in understanding and eloquence, but take no notice of me jane, my only crime is to be passionate and a bit to quick gobbing off.
But at least i'm honest enough to admit i can be a fool, and what's the point in talking online if we can't have the odd psat and scrap. The silliness comes when we go all moody and silent over what is essentially, synaptic stuff, the creative mind talking.
I don't bear grudges, i'm just too sunny and know bitterness leads nowhere, and so sorry for being a knobhead and don't let them get you down.
Thanks for the apology, Desmondo, and the tea & sympathy. It's appreciated. But it doesn't mean you and I are straight again ...
J.
When i read this post, it gave me a great opportunity to apologise for being an idiot, and not in the attempt to try and gain re-admission to the online grove, as - to be honest - it's never going to work out with me and the others, as i am just too windy and, i suppose what one person may call "insensitive," but to my mind is just being a straight, using all the language at my disposal to speak what i feel in the moment, and unwilling to play the game of politeness as it occurs there, as i just am not culturally coded to act that way.
We all get shit and you are having a bit of all round stress going on at the mo, like baroque and ros, all in your own way burdened with obstacles, but it can only make you stronger and when stability returns you will come back better for it.
And though we have always had fundamental differences on our core beleif of monarchy v republic, at least we've never let it be a barrier, and again i apologise for the hurtful words. If you send me your book i will review it and start quothing lines at humanist HQ and do one on the blog, to try and address the wrong.
That's how i made the radio four slam happen, as a redress to a pal who ran a poetry night i got us barred out of the dukes for. It took 18 months to make it up to him, but the way i see it, we are all going to be swimming in the same vast pool of poesy till our last breath, so it's where we end up that counts, and as long as we are honest, we have nought to fear but fear itself, and if i have another 20 years in me, it is in my interest to stay close to those i respect, even though it may not look that way sometimes, as i am no fair weathered friend but a loyal one and have no political-poetic allegience to anyone, or see any other person as my better. It's just a game to me, and i am starting to come into my own. I sent in to the guardian poem workshop saturday with a 500 word pre-amble to fiona sampson, demanding she put me in her rag, acting daft as hell, but knowing the lingo was class, and the poet game is just language, being able to strike all and any register at will, so don't be fooled i am a wierdo, it's all an act and maks, what poets are supposed to don, the more outrageously spacey, the better, as it aint the pedestrian bores who pack the festival hall, but the loonies.
I am only learning too, but in the tradition i have to centre myself in through an accident of birth, poets were paid gobs with two modes, either praising theoir patron or slagging of others, and it was as much about coming up with the most inventive praise or insult, as revealing the existential truth of humanity.
Sorry if this is too windy, but i can't help it, i'm addicted to talking and trying to learn verse..
Good luck.
Exactly.
Jx
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