tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post7863882176809407349..comments2023-04-10T14:29:56.153+01:00Comments on Raw Light: poetry & opinion since 2005: Birthday!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-82382857594021715352008-11-20T11:25:00.000+00:002008-11-20T11:25:00.000+00:00Hope it was a good one, Jane.I particularly like t...Hope it was a good one, Jane.<BR/><BR/>I particularly like the final two stanzas of "Cherchez la Femme". Thanks for posting it.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07747839768257543728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-28276928865035509192008-11-20T10:49:00.000+00:002008-11-20T10:49:00.000+00:00Happy birthday to youHappy birthday to youHappy bi...Happy birthday to you<BR/>Happy birthday to you<BR/>Happy birthday, dear Jane<BR/><BR/>Happy birthday to you!Steven Walinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09843948765720382682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-24911232659124415342008-11-18T16:03:00.000+00:002008-11-18T16:03:00.000+00:00It's a very early effort, this poem. Prose-like, y...It's a very early effort, this poem. Prose-like, yet rhythmic enough to be recognisably a poem. <BR/><BR/>I wonder why, though, I chose to break the stanza almost at the end of that sentence, so that one stanza ends with 'unfiltered' and the next begins 'my room dark with desire.' It seems almost contrary and I'm not sure what effect - if any - I was aiming for. <BR/><BR/>Yet I'm also not sure whether I would change it if I get the chance to, i.e. in a Selected. It jars, but perhaps it's meant to. Too smooth is often worse than clumsy or awkward, if only because it makes a poem too clean, too self-aware and professional-sounding. All the i's dotted etc. <BR/><BR/>Poems with a slightly ragged edge just appeal to me more, I guess.Jane Hollandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15590668593487445482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-56190032705424960322008-11-18T14:35:00.000+00:002008-11-18T14:35:00.000+00:00Belated birthday greetings, Jane.I know the checko...Belated birthday greetings, Jane.<BR/>I know the checkout girl scenario - I threaten myself that I will end up in Supermac's (Irish McDonald's type place) if I don't keep working HARD. Meanwhile, the books pile up behind me and the publishers say 'No'. Sniff. (Not completely true - I recently got a big fat 'Yes!') But I have several unpublished books if anyone else wants to get on board...!Group 8https://www.blogger.com/profile/07924947352624027079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-58013857763949826072008-11-18T13:50:00.000+00:002008-11-18T13:50:00.000+00:00Like this line very much'preaching the world of th...Like this line very much<BR/>'preaching the world of the wet.'<BR/>Not even sure why - just do!Rachel Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11803852725693518924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-60601695959968785522008-11-17T12:50:00.000+00:002008-11-17T12:50:00.000+00:00Happy Birthday Jane! What better present than a ru...Happy Birthday Jane! What better present than a run of productive creativity into the day itself! Enjoy.Padhraig Nolanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11010869074911253314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-22353936730661065452008-11-17T12:26:00.000+00:002008-11-17T12:26:00.000+00:00Happy, happy, happy birthday!!!!!! much love xxxxHappy, happy, happy birthday!!!!!! much love xxxxBohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333815636018847583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-64444920738918909222008-11-17T12:24:00.000+00:002008-11-17T12:24:00.000+00:00Cheers! Got a scarf and gloves from the husband an...Cheers! <BR/><BR/>Got a scarf and gloves from the husband and kids - credit crunch!! - so had to troll out and buy MYSELF the chocolates I'd been secretly hoping for: 'Lindor' from Lindt, those little red balls that melt in your mouth.<BR/><BR/>Hmm, that sounds a bit rude. But they taste delicious!<BR/><BR/>And my birthday resolution is to start work in earnest on a teen sci-fi novel I've been thinking about. But if someone doesn't buy one of these novels soon that I keep writing and sending out into the void, it'll be the checkout uniform for me in 2009! <BR/><BR/>Rushes off, horrified by that prospect, to do some serious writing.Jane Hollandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15590668593487445482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-53567372699205546112008-11-17T10:30:00.000+00:002008-11-17T10:30:00.000+00:00Have a great day on your birthday. Cherchez la Fem...Have a great day on your birthday. Cherchez la Femme makes great reading - very sparky.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06280161801824435219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16608180.post-27944229769627823902008-11-17T09:13:00.000+00:002008-11-17T09:13:00.000+00:00Happy, happy birthday to you!Lovely poem, some gor...Happy, happy birthday to you!<BR/>Lovely poem, some gorgeous lines in there.Marion McCreadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657757253873577465noreply@blogger.com